Contentment

At some point last year, I had this defining moment where I realized that I was completely content with my life. I had achieved all of the major goals I dreamed of since I was young — married to my best friend and one and only love, skilled in a variety of trades, I’ve lived in several beautiful places, I’m a dog mom to the cutest puppy, and I spend the majority of my life relishing every day with my little family. I was happy and fulfilled. That’s the goal, right?

Coming into 2017, I struggled to think of resolutions or goals other than the usual broad terms — eat healthier, work out often, read more. I felt content, but something in me said I shouldn’t just settle for that. I felt that if I didn’t change something, I wouldn’t be able to grow as a person or as a Christian. If I’m not growing or changing, then my life becomes like a broken record. A Bible teacher that I’ve studied under once said, “If you’re attending a church where the preacher is often repeating the same points or teaching similar messages week after week, then you should be concerned that the preacher isn’t growing in his own faith.” As I thought over posts I’ve written on here and journal entries I’ve made over the past year, I realized that I wasn’t seeing much growth in my own life. My life was one thrilling weekend adventure after another, while coasting through the weeks on auto-pilot. The problem I had was that I enjoyed my place of contentment too much. It was comfortable, and I was happy with my simple routines, as mundane as they might seem to others. I didn’t want to change.

While pondering these things, I came across a quote that said “Contentment isn’t a destination, it’s a manner of traveling.” As I meditated on this thought, I knew there had to be something I was working toward. I just didn’t have any idea of what to do. I believe that God is always sovereign and that everything comes from him, and this was just one of those times in my life when I could see it so clearly. He had divinely orchestrated my thoughts and the few messages, quotes, and sources which I’d come across that shaped my thinking during this time. I was listening to and editing a sermon transcription where the answer jumped out at me: God opens doors and He closes them. Such a simple message and reminder, but so profound to me in that moment. I hadn’t thought of that in this context, and now it made so much sense. I said that prayer right away: God, open new doors in my life, and close old ones. I say that prayer whenever it comes to mind. Open and close doors. This has become my prayer for 2017.

God is faithful, and I have seen evidence in this and answers to my prayers already. I haven’t always been in favor of making changes in my life, I’ve always just gone with the flow. I’m also not good at making decisions, I love when things just happen and all I have to do is adapt. Now as doors are opening, I’m beginning to see a common theme in each of them, and that is giving me a clearer picture of where I’d like to set my goals. There were specific areas where I wanted to see change — I wanted to develop new and deeper relationships with God, my family, friends, and others; I wanted to become more intentional about pursuing and improving my hobbies and interests. Interestingly enough, the one aspect I was most hesitant and unsure about praying over has been the area that I’ve seen change in the most, which is work! I’m very grateful for the ability to learn new skills and have a lot more to do during this time of life.

I just wanted to share this as a little update for my life, and as encouragement to anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation as I had. Thanks for reading!